Age is Relative in Job Searches

If you have lost your job, are repeatedly being turned down for new jobs, or are repeatedly laid off from new job, you may find this article interesting.  Read on!

Some folks like to state with confidence that age is relative.  Age is just a number.  You are as young as you feel.  Really?  My bet is that those folks, no matter their age: 1) are in good physical health; 2) are still employed in a job that affords them a comfortable lifestyle OR are being supported by a spouse or other OR are living in comfortable retirement; and 3) have not endured a string of significant traumas in their life for which they have not had the resources to cope (i.e., fired/laid off from career, war veteran, victim of violent crime or domestic abuse, death of spouse or child, etc.).  These fortunate folks are on the sunny side of life and anticipate a comfortable future.  They are happily planning their next big vacation, buying the newest techno gadget at Best Buy, and entertaining friends with lovely dinners complete with imported wines.  Sounds like the 1960’s, doesn’t it?  That is when America was experiencing the biggest boom of its existence, careers for male breadwinners were launched and retired from with few job changes or layoffs, and moms were able to stay at home and raise the kids and did not need to juggle career/marriage/children/the house in a constant fog of fatigue.  Divorce was a measure of last resort.  Companies wooed employees with regular promotions and pay increases, low or no cost health/dental/other insurance, and guaranteed pensions. 

Flash to 2011.  The adults who married and brought about the Baby Boom during the 1950’s following WWII, have now retired for the most part.  They are living that comfortable retirement for which they worked hard and deserve.  They are either still covered by former employer health benefits, Medicare, or both.  Their income comes from company pensions, Social Security, savings, and more.  Most likely they have paid off their home mortgage, have sold the old family home and bought a smaller home outright, or are otherwise secure in a dwelling.  If they do suffer a physical illness or accident, their health insurance will cover everything from gallbladder removal to cancer treatments.  Prescriptions are also covered by insurance or Medicare and are affordable.  Their kids are now adults and have children of their own.  So how are they doing in 2011?

Not as well.  Many of them, men and women, although hard-working and well-educated, have been laid off from their employment.  They cannot find new employment in their fields despite months, and sometimes years, of desperately trying.  They have run out of unemployment insurance and COBRA coverage, have no income or health benefits of any kind, and are losing their homes to foreclosure and placing their belongings up for sale on Craigslist.  If they are able to remain in their homes, they are finding that the mortgages are double the present value of their homes.  They have no retirement funds in waiting because their former companies have closed, and nasty CEO’s have stolen or ‘lost’ the company retirement accounts, or worse.  Any 401(k) or IRA funds have already been used as a measure of last resort to try to keep the family home from foreclosure, the kids in food and clothing, and the electricity and heat running.  They are being told that Social Security will probably go broke well before they are even eligible to receive it.  Medicare will either soon be extinguished or the benefits will be drastically cut due to this country’s debt problem.  In its April 2011 statement, S&P indicated that “if the fiscal crisis in the U.S. remains unresolved, within two years U.S. Treasuries will be downgraded. The statement acknowledges that the American political system is totally dysfunctional, and appears unable to craft a viable plan to restore fiscal sanity to America’s out of control federal government budget. Reading between the lines, and adding my own perspective (see my report “Global Economic Forecast 2010-2015: Recession Into Depression”) it seems increasingly obvious that save for a miracle, the United States is headed for a fiscal train wreck of calamitous proportion, probably sooner rather than later.” (http://www.globaleconomiccrisis.com/blog/archives/1315).  Baby Boomer parents are losing faith in the American Dream for themselves and for their children.  Food, gas, and other essentials are rapidly rising in cost.  Some states, counties, and cities are declaring bankruptcy or on the verge of doing so.  The ridiculously high costs of sending kids off to college is either restricting families from doing so or resulting in heavy borrowing that they cannot really afford.  Borrowing is tightening up and this may not even be an option anymore.  It is becoming clear to Americans that we are not in a temporary recession; we are in a complete rewrite of the American economy. 

A few other statistics from a recent study by Physorg.com (http://www.physorg.com/news156075470.html):

• More than 70% of respondents admit to having to make significant spending changes
• More than 80% of respondents believe that they will not be able to retire – ever
• 43% of respondents admit to having little or no savings to call upon in the face of job loss

For those who still have a job, 70% say that stress at work has significantly increased due to increasing productivity demands from management; fear of layoff; requirement to cut costs at work despite expectations to perform more; perception of co-workers practicing backstabbing and politicking as a means to retain employment in the event of a layoff.  Millions of families are currently undergoing severe strains that may trigger higher divorce and suicide rates and emotional turmoil. 

Do you still believe that Age Is Relative?  40-60 year olds, who just decades ago would have had little reason to fear being laid off, their company going under, their country sliding into a depression, get up every day and send out job applications that will go nowhere.  If, as the saying goes, you are as old as you feel – well, they must be about 101.  Even if their actual age is 40-55, that age is VERY relative to current economic conditions.  Why?  During the last 2 decades, as these folks were working and taking on mortgages, beginning their families and saving for the future, American government and corporations were changing the rules of the game.  Oh, and those rules were designed, in the long run, to ruin the American economy and American families.

The 1990’s saw the development of huge U.S. trade deficits; the reduction of taxes which, in part, led to a 75% increase in the national debt; and increasing free trade and globalization causing U.S. companies to shift their manufacturing operations overseas.  This was followed in the 2000’s by the collapse of the housing market, financial crimes leading to the collapse of giant companies and the American stock market; and banking activities leading to mergers and/or closures.  In 2008, the stock market plunged 40%, wiping out the college fund and retirement savings of many Americans.  How old do you feel now? 

And recently, the very workers who helped to fuel the American economy into these crises are finding that their age is VERY relative when it comes to finding new employment.  So is their credit rating, their savings rate, their debt load, their presence or lack thereof on social media, their or their dependent’s historical use of medical/dental/mental health services and prescription medications.  Today’s employers are as likely to view a candidates employability based on these factors as on the candidates job application.  Today’s employers are ordering and reviewing credit reports, background checks, criminal records, and intensive searches of applicant use of the internet and social media.  In fact, job candidates are being turned down for employment based on information that companies can easily find on Google, Twitter, Facebook, personal blogs and websites and more.  A full 45% of employers hire private firms to conduct these searches.  According to HR at Microsoft, over 70% of employers have rejected an otherwise excellent candidate for employment based soley on their internet presence.  Some factors include:

• It is found that they promote activities that the company frowns upon which can be as innocuous as selling Avon or Amway or rallying for the legalization of pot
• It is found that they  have lost or are close to losing their home to foreclosure
• It is found that their credit rating has gone down due to factors beyond their control
• It is found that their savings rate is low, or nill, while their personal debt load is significant
• It is found that they or their friends on Facebook, Twitter, etc., like to party hearty and use drugs and alcohol
• It is found that their social media profiles indicate they are difficult personalities or have significant issues interacting with others
• It is found that they or their spouse or children have historically used more medical/dental/mental health services or a significant amount of prescribed medications due to a chronic health problem or other need
• It is found that they trash or otherwise bad-talk former employers and co-workers
• It is found that what they say on their social media does not match what they have put on their job applications, i.e. social media:  I left that position because management was stupid v. job application: I left that position for promotion potential

While it is illegal to deny employment based on the above factors, it happens all the time.  HR phones the candidate to say, ‘your skills are not up to date’, ‘we feel that you are not a good fit’, or they simply give no reason at all for passing you over. 

In the category of ‘most stressful events of your life’, losing your career is up there at the top.  You are undergoing one of the most trying times of your life, especially if the loss of your career is negatively affecting other aspects of your life.  Maybe this is a good time to stop, consider a few things, make a few changes, accept some inevitables, make some new connections, and move forward in a different direction?

If you are age 55 or over, try volunteering.  Organizations often provide new friendships which can bloom into employment opportunities.  Try doing job searches specifically for the ’50 and older’ crowd.  The vicious competition in your former field of employment may be too strong for you to win.  Maybe it is time to think of your ‘maturity’ as a time to try something new.  Relax a bit and look at alternatives to your former career.  Try a part-time job.  Many part-time jobs offer full medical and other benefits, even retirement plans.  Take an exercise class, lose some weight, and maybe you can drop some of those expensive meds.  Fix up and sell or rent the house; buy something outright that is more in line with your reduced budget.  Start a garden.  Buy a pet and enjoy the friendship.  Decide to get up every morning and have your coffee at a local coffee shop where you are bound to meet and befriend others who are in your same situation.  If you don’t have a social media presence, create one – a positive one.  If you have an other than stellar social media presence, work on cleaning it up.  Check your credit profile and clean that up as well.  Many volunteer organizations do background checks and will provide you with a free copy for the asking – check it for errors or items that you need to improve.  Decide to finally sort those photo albums, beer caps, or whatever.  Host this yearss family get-together at your house to avoid travel costs and ask that everyone donate to cover the cost of food, etc.  Buy a local entertainment coupon book and get out and see the tourist-y sights in your area. 

Most of all try to remember that you are not alone.  America is undergoing extreme changes that no one seems able to control.  The one thing that you can control is – you.  Take the reins!  Take charge of your life as it exists right now.  You cannot change the loss that you have just encountered.  But look around at what you still have and see that it is significant. 

PTSD & My 3 Heroes

Post-traumatic stress disorder.  Upon hearing those words most folks immediately think of war vets returning home.  But wait, if we think about that picture for a moment, there are several issues that pop up.  PTSD is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event which results in psychological trauma.  Psychological trauma is defined as a type of damage to the psyche that occurs as a result of a traumatic event.  Traumatic event is defined as a single experience, or an enduring or repeating event or events that completely overwhelm the individual's ability to cope or integrate the  emotions involved with that experience.  Simply put, PTSD occurs when a person is emotionally injured and cannot cope.

People are very different from one another because of their genetic, social, educational, experience, and other backgrounds.  What is perceived by one person as a traumatic event may be ‘normal’ to another person or at least tolerable.  If individuals ‘condition’ themselves in preparation for traumatic events, will they better tolerate them?  Consider the fact that soldiers know they are military members, and military members are trained for war and are expected to actively engage in war; couldn’t it be reasonably expected that what soldiers encounter during the war experience would be tolerable?

No.  The facts are that no matter how well conditioned, trained, or educated a person may be to the possibility of traumatic events, no matter how ‘strong’ their personality may be, when trauma occurs it can be devastating because of its emotional impact.  Our thinking brain is no match to our emotional brain.  Instinct and emotion will take precedence over thinking (conditioning, training, and education) when a person perceives an event to be beyond their control, happening at a moment when they are not consciously ready to deal with it from a ‘strong’ place, something for which they feel they are not prepared, something that happens repeatedly despite their best efforts to avoid or to deal with it successfully, and especially something that they view as intended to cause them harm.  The more often these events occur, the greater the stress load becomes until the person enters the realm of PTSD.

People suffering from PTSD are often invisible in their pain but their actions define them to others IF others will observe, listen, and are aware of the signs of PTSD.  People with PTSD cannot cure themselves and professional therapy is absolutely necessary.  Some of the signs of PTSD are:

-        Frightening dreams and nightmares which cause poor sleep, waking suddenly and even screaming in their sleep

-        Inability to let go of unhappy memories, unhappy relationships, and the tendency to relive them over and over in an attempt to resolve negative emotions, but failing to do so

-        Appearing to numb themselves to anything and everything.  They may appear not to care, be detached from, have no interest in, or prefer to avoid loved ones, people, places, and even favorite activities.

-        Inability to react appropriately to the bad actions or emotional abuse from others.  They may simply give up and take it.

-        They may give up on their health and grooming and spend entire days in bed or hiding from life at home, over or under eat, stop having their hair styled and stop using makeup, and dress in old-looking clothes because they do not bother to buy anything new.

-        They may have difficulty concentrating on anything, fall late on bill paying, be unable to compose a shopping list, and stop answering phone calls and emails.

-        They may seem easily startled, constantly tired and depressed, and hyperaware of the actions and emotions of others as if afraid of what may be coming next.

-        They appear to tolerate emotional abuse from others or to ignore it.  Or they may at times become hysterically emotional and be unable to self-regulate their emotions.

Unrecognized PTSD, or even worse when the person’s spouse, family or friends ‘run over’ them, make fun of them, threaten to institutionalize them, tell them that they are hysterical or mentally ill, or take advantage of their condition, can cause the PTSD sufferer to consider suicide, running away and cutting all ties, or worse. 

An otherwise previously mentally and physically healthy person can go on to develop PTSD if the following events occur to them:

-        Physical abuse or the threat of it, especially from spouse who throws things, destroys things, verbally rages and gestures violently at them and occasionally shoves or hits them

-        Emotional abuse especially from a spouse including threats of divorce, blaming for failing to ‘live up’ to their part of the relationship, spousal infidelity or the threat of it, abandonment by spouse for months or years, and emotional control by spouse

-        Sexual assault or other violent crime

-        Terrorist attack or direct threat

-        Serious accident, natural disaster, or sudden life-threatening illness especially if that illness is chronic and has no known cure

-        Divorce from, estrangement from, or death of loved one

-        Serious illness or bad behavior of a loved one for which they feel responsible to fix but cannot

-        Years of financial want and heavy loads of family or work responsibility over which they feel no sense of control and repeated attempts to resolve the situation, all unsuccessful

-        Being disabled from, laid off or fired from a job through which they formed their sense of self and an inability to gain new employment despite repeated attempts

If one or more of these events occur in close succession such as the serious illness of a loved one, loss of a loved one by estrangement for which they feel some responsibility, infidelity and threatened abandonment by a spouse, sudden and life-threatening development of an incurable chronic disease resulting in an involuntary dismissal from their job through which they felt a strong sense of identity, spousal abandonment (spouse blames them for development of illness, weight gain, loss of former employment), and financial strain, the person WILL develop PTSD.  Subsequent blaming for the symptoms of PTSD by spouse, close family or friends will only make the situation much worse and possibly lethal.

How can PTSD be effectively recognized and treated to avoid the worst of all possible outcomes?  The number one deciding factor is the intervention of a caring person for which the PTSD sufferer feels a sense of trust.  This is especially important when the PTSD person can no longer engage successfully with their spouse or family because of abuse, abandonment, blaming, threats, or violence.  If the trusted person happens to be someone with a knowledge of the effects of trauma due to emotional, physical, or domestic abuse, and is able to assist the PTSD sufferer to recognize a need for treatment along with a hope for the future, the outcome is good. 

Three methods of treating PTSD successfully are Somatic experiencing, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and EMDR.  EMDR has been determined to be a highly effective treatment of trauma and is currently placed in the “A” category as ‘strongly recommended’ for the treatment of trauma by the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Department of Defense.  More about EMDR can be found online by a query through Google.

Recovery from trauma involves 4 stages:  beginning to feel again and moving away from the previous numbness of emotion; working through (with a professional) the emotions and situations that brought on the PTSD; deciding to take constructive action to restore their sense of self, control, power, and hope; and finally educating themselves as much as possible about the entire experience.  This can be accomplished by formal education or by intensive self-study.

PTSD breaks the soul.  It breaks the heart and the body as well.  It permanently changes a person from their former self.  It is the ultimate form of crisis in a person’s life short of death.  Much can be learned from this experience once recovery begins.  Oftentimes people feel a resurgence of courage as they begin to resolve their pain, take positive action towards a better future, share their experience with others, and realize that their experience is just that, an experience.  It is not a definition of them and it is not the end-all of their life.  As they reintegrate themselves, their ethics and values and morals, a deeper understanding develops towards others and for themselves.  They build anew their lives, their relationships, and their plans. 

If you recognize the symptoms of PTSD in a spouse, family member, friend, co-worker or other, be a hero.  Talk with them.  If the relationship between you is positive, you just may be the difference in their lives. 

I have three heroes.  They are Mark and Chris and Leslie Savage, Ph.D., and to them I owe more than is possible to put into words.  Be a hero to someone you know and make all the difference.

Older Age Is Interesting

Most youngsters (meaning anyone under 45) fear getting older.  Evidently they focus on only the negatives.  Well, OK, maybe losing hearing, teeth, sleep, hair, and mobility aren’t good.  And gaining weight, many new Rx for various ills, a house full of ‘stuff’ that accumulates over the years, several pairs of glasses for up-close, distance, and in-between viewing; pillows/forms/supports/braces/and you name it to cope with aches/pains/injuries/ are all a negative.  BUT I may have found one positive that many of us don’t recognize . . . a new brain with a new way of perceiving, processing, storing, and retrieving information.  This new brain moves away from the younger model of instantaneous recognition, quick decision making, and on-the-spot recall.  This new brain somehow manages to mash together all of those abilities into what I now call ‘Super Senior Brain!’  YOU may own such a brain if:

ü  you stumble to the kitchen to make coffee in the morning and accidently dump loose tea instead of coffee grounds into the coffeemaker filter basket, realize the mistake when you take that first sip;

ü  you construct a garage sale sign (on the clean side) from poster board that was previously used for a Super Bowl office betting pool, place it conspicuously in the neighborhood, then notice the next day that the morning dew has reactivated the old ink resulting in a very weird looking sign which is interpreted by your neighbors as ‘he’s gone over the deep end’;

ü  you make your weekly trip to the grocery store but accidently take last week’s shopping list, resulting in the house now amply provided with dozens of eggs, too many potatoes, and more bread and hamburger to possibly eat before they go bad, and you decide that ‘hey, let’s have a neighborhood BBQ’ resulting in you finally meeting the rest of the neighborhood;

ü  you take the wrong pair of glasses to the grocery store and accidently buy products that effectively place you on a low-fat, high fiber diet and find that you like it (note to readers – Ben and Jerrys now makes a fabulous low fat frozen yogurt named Chocolate Fudge Brownie that found its way home with me last week);

ü  your phone rings; the number on the caller i.d. looks sort of familiar as maybe being that of a family member or friend so you pick up and answer, ‘hi!  I’ve been missing you and waiting for you to call, so when do you want to get together and what should I bring, sweetie?’  The telemarketer on the other end is stunned and hangs up – that guy will never call again!;

ü  you actually take a telemarketer call and give them a piece of your mind telling them that the next time they call you are going to bomb their offices because you are sick of them interrupting your evening TV viewing, before you realize that they guy on the other end of the line is from your local Police Guild – you are now on their watch list;

ü  you simply cannot sleep through the night so you begin watching ‘talking head’ shows and discover that, hey those guys are saying WAY more about the sick state of our national economy than the guys on the evening news – this might be a good time to take your money out of stocks and put it in a CD;

ü  when your local law enforcement agency holds one of those ‘bring us your old meds and we’ll destroy them’ and you show up with 2 full shopping bags for them, tell them that you have found an amazing natural herb that relaxes you so much that you no longer need the meds, they (naturally) wonder what that herb might be – you are now on their list as well;

ü  you give your old dog his meds at the same time that you take yours in the morning; unfortunately the evening prior your husband has nicely cleaned and rearranged the countertops and contents; you later notice that you have felt amazingly relaxed all day but your dog seems a bit ‘off’; later you discover that you have taken his anti-anxiety  med and he has taken your vitamin

ü  you have forgotten – again – to pack your dental floss with your travel items so you decide instead to use a length of cotton sewing thread you brought along in your sewing kit.  It works great!  You decide that at the price of $1.99 per package of dental floss that contains a mere 100 yards, you can save a bundle by using cotton thread that is 876 years per a spool that costs $3.99.  You are a financial genius!

ü  It is finally spring and you go shopping at the local garden center.  Great, they carry herbs that you can grow and use in cooking!  You buy several including a mint named cats wort.  The mint grows like crazy, you use it in several recipes and it tastes a bit different, but maybe that is because it is fresh.  You enter one of your recipes in a local contest and win second place.  You must list the ingredients on the contest application.  You are later informed by the awards committee that this is the first dish they have ever tasted that includes – catnip.

ü  you have a google email and calendar account and use them daily on your computer.  You discover that you can link your calendar with those of your friends and family and do so.   You space that out when later you decide to go on a bona-fide diet and you begin tracking your daily weight as an action item on your calendar.  Eventually someone asks about your notations . . . .  

ü  your car has leather seats.  You finally give your car a good cleaning inside and decide to use Armorall Leather Wipes to clean the leather seats.  The next time your dog hops into the backseat of your car he slides to the opposite door and crashes into it resulting in much painful yelping

ü  it is time for that relaxing evening bath.  You fill the tub and sink in.  You then recall that it was only yesterday that you thoroughly scrubbed it with SoftScrub . . . because you are now sitting on the gritty remainders.  You forgot that you meant to take a shower that evening, not a bath.  You hop out but decide to let the water stay in the tub overnight to loosen all the remaining SoftScrub – you will empty the tub in the morning when you turn on the shower.  The next morning you do turn on the shower to allow the hot water to build up and you go out to the kitchen to make the morning coffee . . . but forget to empty the tub . . .

Take a Breather

Springtime in my town is when Mother Nature pulls out the multi-colored quilts of her bounty and spreads them across the landscape.  A 10 minute drive in my town is enough to become incredibly inspired by the colors of every blooming flower, bush, and tree.  As a quilter I have this insane desire to dash over to each bloom and burn its unique tone and shade into my memory.  Fortunately, this desire has not resulted in mass amounts of traffic tickets and/or major accidents to date.  If only there were a way to replicate the particular sparkle of a blooming cherry tree after a rain.  Or the royal blues and purples of the creeping myrtles and bushes.  This is part of the mystery of life – we can see and hear and smell and touch the beauty but we can never replicate it.  Every grey Seattle winter we wait – and wait – for that first spring day when the sun parts the clouds and lights up the blooming landscape and reminds us that no matter how advanced we humans become, we will never replicate the absolute perfection of this earth.  Take a moment today to simply look around – it will do you some good.  No matter the state of our national economy, the state of your personal economy, how much you yearn for anything that matters to you, and how much you may be grieving at a loss, Mother Nature will always be there to quiet your mind and heart and to say that tomorrow is yours for the making.  I'm  making another quilt!! with all of Her colors in mind.