Post-traumatic stress disorder. Upon hearing those words most folks immediately think of war vets returning home. But wait, if we think about that picture for a moment, there are several issues that pop up. PTSD is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event which results in psychological trauma. Psychological trauma is defined as a type of damage to the psyche that occurs as a result of a traumatic event. Traumatic event is defined as a single experience, or an enduring or repeating event or events that completely overwhelm the individual's ability to cope or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Simply put, PTSD occurs when a person is emotionally injured and cannot cope.
People are very different from one another because of their genetic, social, educational, experience, and other backgrounds. What is perceived by one person as a traumatic event may be ‘normal’ to another person or at least tolerable. If individuals ‘condition’ themselves in preparation for traumatic events, will they better tolerate them? Consider the fact that soldiers know they are military members, and military members are trained for war and are expected to actively engage in war; couldn’t it be reasonably expected that what soldiers encounter during the war experience would be tolerable?
No. The facts are that no matter how well conditioned, trained, or educated a person may be to the possibility of traumatic events, no matter how ‘strong’ their personality may be, when trauma occurs it can be devastating because of its emotional impact. Our thinking brain is no match to our emotional brain. Instinct and emotion will take precedence over thinking (conditioning, training, and education) when a person perceives an event to be beyond their control, happening at a moment when they are not consciously ready to deal with it from a ‘strong’ place, something for which they feel they are not prepared, something that happens repeatedly despite their best efforts to avoid or to deal with it successfully, and especially something that they view as intended to cause them harm. The more often these events occur, the greater the stress load becomes until the person enters the realm of PTSD.
People suffering from PTSD are often invisible in their pain but their actions define them to others IF others will observe, listen, and are aware of the signs of PTSD. People with PTSD cannot cure themselves and professional therapy is absolutely necessary. Some of the signs of PTSD are:
- Frightening dreams and nightmares which cause poor sleep, waking suddenly and even screaming in their sleep
- Inability to let go of unhappy memories, unhappy relationships, and the tendency to relive them over and over in an attempt to resolve negative emotions, but failing to do so
- Appearing to numb themselves to anything and everything. They may appear not to care, be detached from, have no interest in, or prefer to avoid loved ones, people, places, and even favorite activities.
- Inability to react appropriately to the bad actions or emotional abuse from others. They may simply give up and take it.
- They may give up on their health and grooming and spend entire days in bed or hiding from life at home, over or under eat, stop having their hair styled and stop using makeup, and dress in old-looking clothes because they do not bother to buy anything new.
- They may have difficulty concentrating on anything, fall late on bill paying, be unable to compose a shopping list, and stop answering phone calls and emails.
- They may seem easily startled, constantly tired and depressed, and hyperaware of the actions and emotions of others as if afraid of what may be coming next.
- They appear to tolerate emotional abuse from others or to ignore it. Or they may at times become hysterically emotional and be unable to self-regulate their emotions.
Unrecognized PTSD, or even worse when the person’s spouse, family or friends ‘run over’ them, make fun of them, threaten to institutionalize them, tell them that they are hysterical or mentally ill, or take advantage of their condition, can cause the PTSD sufferer to consider suicide, running away and cutting all ties, or worse.
An otherwise previously mentally and physically healthy person can go on to develop PTSD if the following events occur to them:
- Physical abuse or the threat of it, especially from spouse who throws things, destroys things, verbally rages and gestures violently at them and occasionally shoves or hits them
- Emotional abuse especially from a spouse including threats of divorce, blaming for failing to ‘live up’ to their part of the relationship, spousal infidelity or the threat of it, abandonment by spouse for months or years, and emotional control by spouse
- Sexual assault or other violent crime
- Terrorist attack or direct threat
- Serious accident, natural disaster, or sudden life-threatening illness especially if that illness is chronic and has no known cure
- Divorce from, estrangement from, or death of loved one
- Serious illness or bad behavior of a loved one for which they feel responsible to fix but cannot
- Years of financial want and heavy loads of family or work responsibility over which they feel no sense of control and repeated attempts to resolve the situation, all unsuccessful
- Being disabled from, laid off or fired from a job through which they formed their sense of self and an inability to gain new employment despite repeated attempts
If one or more of these events occur in close succession such as the serious illness of a loved one, loss of a loved one by estrangement for which they feel some responsibility, infidelity and threatened abandonment by a spouse, sudden and life-threatening development of an incurable chronic disease resulting in an involuntary dismissal from their job through which they felt a strong sense of identity, spousal abandonment (spouse blames them for development of illness, weight gain, loss of former employment), and financial strain, the person WILL develop PTSD. Subsequent blaming for the symptoms of PTSD by spouse, close family or friends will only make the situation much worse and possibly lethal.
How can PTSD be effectively recognized and treated to avoid the worst of all possible outcomes? The number one deciding factor is the intervention of a caring person for which the PTSD sufferer feels a sense of trust. This is especially important when the PTSD person can no longer engage successfully with their spouse or family because of abuse, abandonment, blaming, threats, or violence. If the trusted person happens to be someone with a knowledge of the effects of trauma due to emotional, physical, or domestic abuse, and is able to assist the PTSD sufferer to recognize a need for treatment along with a hope for the future, the outcome is good.
Three methods of treating PTSD successfully are Somatic experiencing, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and EMDR. EMDR has been determined to be a highly effective treatment of trauma and is currently placed in the “A” category as ‘strongly recommended’ for the treatment of trauma by the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Department of Defense. More about EMDR can be found online by a query through Google.
Recovery from trauma involves 4 stages: beginning to feel again and moving away from the previous numbness of emotion; working through (with a professional) the emotions and situations that brought on the PTSD; deciding to take constructive action to restore their sense of self, control, power, and hope; and finally educating themselves as much as possible about the entire experience. This can be accomplished by formal education or by intensive self-study.
PTSD breaks the soul. It breaks the heart and the body as well. It permanently changes a person from their former self. It is the ultimate form of crisis in a person’s life short of death. Much can be learned from this experience once recovery begins. Oftentimes people feel a resurgence of courage as they begin to resolve their pain, take positive action towards a better future, share their experience with others, and realize that their experience is just that, an experience. It is not a definition of them and it is not the end-all of their life. As they reintegrate themselves, their ethics and values and morals, a deeper understanding develops towards others and for themselves. They build anew their lives, their relationships, and their plans.
If you recognize the symptoms of PTSD in a spouse, family member, friend, co-worker or other, be a hero. Talk with them. If the relationship between you is positive, you just may be the difference in their lives.
I have three heroes. They are Mark and Chris and Leslie Savage, Ph.D., and to them I owe more than is possible to put into words. Be a hero to someone you know and make all the difference.
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