I am not a ‘math person’. Sure, balancing a checkbook, figuring interest rates on a loan and future payoff options, and running tax software to meet that April 15th deadline are all quite manageable. BUT that other stuff . . . well, it is a four-letter word. Who is ever going to use the India method of solving quadratic equations in their normal, daily life? I could stop there but for the fact that I tend to ruminate on life and to find the meaning in every single part of life as well as how the parts all fit together. And so after a good friend and I attempted to finish my math homework this last weekend, a few new realizations popped up today about that process. Oh, and yes, we did finish the homework. It took my patient, intelligent friend several hours to explain the algebraic equations that I previously simply could not ‘get’ after doing everything ‘right’ – reading the textbook, doing the practice problems, and spending 9 solid hours willing myself to learn, d**m it, learn! My friend persevered, I learned, and the assignment went in on time. And just as with much of life’s events, once they are finished and no longer first and foremost in mind, the words and actions and perceptions, etc., associated with them do not just become a memory. They ‘run in the background’ of our minds. They become our expectations for the future about those events. Humans are strange that way – we expect the same for our future as whatever we happen to be experiencing today. For some of us, that ‘today’ is actually a rerun of the yesterdays of our childhood. Stopping those old reruns, learning new expectations to carry forward, and feeling okay about this process is not easy. That brings us to today. My next, weekly math assignment is due tomorrow. Math is again becoming first and foremost in my mind. And with it is now coming the lessons of my last encounter with math.
Lesson #1: No one is good at every single part of life. This is nothing to feel ashamed about. It is simply true. When presented with a new challenge, try. Try again. Then if you are still not succeeding, stop and consider this: surrender to the need for help and ask for it. Asking for help is not the same as raising a white flag, or believing that you are incapable or dumb or any other negative trait. And don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Accept help with the grace it deserves. And learn what you are being taught. Then go out and share it with someone else who is struggling with the same challenge. This is called ‘being human’. We are all interconnected in life. In our extremely complicated society today no one is an expert – or even familiar with or sometimes aware of – all of life’s challenges.
Lesson #2: Solving quadratic equations is not in my future. I wholeheartedly intend to avoid all such higher math after college graduation. So why try so hard to understand this stuff? Well . . . maybe the Powers That Be who insist this class be a component of my degree program are less concerned with the quadratic math than they are with the thinking processes required to understand it. I had a Zen moment!! Suddenly higher math didn’t look so useless in a non-math degree program. And the fact that some of the equations don’t even require any one correct answer caused a big ah-ha! For some of the equations the answer could be either a negative or a positive number.
Lesson #3: The logic in math requires every complicated equation be reduced to its simplest form. In order to do this, the student must first have a thorough understanding of the ‘rules’ of algebra, geometry, etc., as well as the symbols, the equations, and lots more. Another Zen moment – Steven Hawking is really, REALLY smart! It is virtually impossible for a student to leap from simple math to quadratic equations if he/she has not learned those rules and does not understand those equations or math logic.
Lesson #4: We all have ‘rules’ for our lives. These are called ‘lessons we have learned’. Most of these rules were acquired in our childhood and some of our rules aren’t as effective as they ought to be for our adult lives. The less effective rules make themselves obvious everyday – they are the rules that bring about our negative feelings and behavior, failures, and feelings of guilt and shame. They make our lives more complicated than necessary. Whatever challenges we are facing, as long as we keep trying and trying but using these old, useless rules, we will fail. Maybe we ought to consider looking at some of our most difficult challenges as being problems similar to the India method of solving quadratic equations. Whether the challenges are new and unknown or old and familiar, if we aren’t succeeding, maybe we ought to surrender to our inability to solve them. Even after we have done everything ‘right’ – researching the issue, reading the experts books, trying for days, months, and years – but still failing, maybe we ought to seek out someone who has experience and an understanding and the ability to teach us. There are likely ‘rules’ about how to succeed with the problems, certain background equations and symbols and such that the experienced person thoroughly understands – but that you have no clue about because you don’t have their experience with the problems. And in order to solve the problems in the first place, it is necessary to reduce them to the least complex equation. There are probably many, many solutions to the problems that you have never considered . . . because you were stuck on the belief that only one solution was possible or ‘right’ and you were unable to reduce the complexity into its simplest components.
I have learned that quadratic equations are not important to me – but that how I learned to solve them is very important. It isn’t healthy to expect oneself to know the answer to every challenge. It isn’t healthy to will oneself to learn by ‘doing everything right’ and then to flog oneself and wonder what is wrong with me or the ‘system’ when one fails. It is good – and it feels good – to ask for help from someone who does have the answer and is willing to share that knowledge. It is good – and it feels good – to make that human connection. Asking and gracefully accepting help is a sign of strength, of an ability to successfully adapt and learn, and to acknowledge that one is part of the whole – weak in some areas, strong in others – and isn’t that what life is all about? No man is an island, it is said. I agree and I am learning that I would rather be a part of the main. I wonder . . . if more American’s saw themselves as a part of the whole and not as singular, highly competitive, run-over-the-other-guy-in-order-to-succeed folks, if we all might be able to relax just a bit. Maybe we would be just a little less concerned with trying to look smarter and wealthier and more beautiful if we just accepted that no one is perfect. Maybe we could spend a bit more time with our loved ones if we didn’t expect ourselves, and our loved ones didn’t expect us, to have the most money in the bank when we died. Maybe we could teach the greedy American corporations that the ‘rules’ they promote by their nasty behavior will NOT make us into citizens who will give up our families, our right to be happy, our innate need to share with others, our desire to be a community, our need to feel secure, etc., just because those corporations keep telling us to work harder, work smarter, work with less – and finally, don’t work at all because we can find someone else who is willing to demean themselves even more than you and accept even less for it. Personally, I quit on that type of behavior – not that I was ever that way in the first place. But it is very difficult to live in a society that promotes unhealthy attitudes about life and not have some of them rub off on me, too. As far as I’m concerned, as long as the people important to me love and accept me, I am able to work a little, play a little, and learn a little every day, life is good. Very good.
No comments:
Post a Comment